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Footnotes



*This article was originally written in 1990 for a magazine that was aimed at young, single, heterosexual women. However, the principles of astrological relationship compatibility discussed in this article, are equally applicable to both sexes, and also apply to gay and lesbian relationships.

The editors also specifically requested that the gruesome murder of a pregnant wife by her husband, which was in the news at the time, be embroidered into the article.


1Everything said in this article about what men's birth charts reveal, holds equally true for women.

 

 

About Your Relationship
Are you interested in exploring your relationship from an astrological perspective with astrologer and life coach Nicki Michaels? Learn more...

 

Is He Hiding Something?*

What his chart can reveal about his capacity for love, tenderness, and reliability.

By Nicki Michaels


Updated from an article originally published in
Jupiter Magazine, June/July 1990
© Nicki Michaels - All Rights Reserved

 

It is a crime so unthinkable it makes the blood run cold.  Less than two weeks after they had celebrated their fourth wedding anniversary at a romantic inn, and two months before their first child was due, Carol Stuart was brutally murdered by her husband, Charles, in a Boston murder case that rocked the nation.  That the Stuarts were perceived by Carol’s friends, neighbors and family as an ideally happy couple only adds to the horror of her tragedy and has women everywhere wondering, "Could this happen to me?  Is it possible that the handsome, charming, affectionate and successful man of my dreams is hiding a darker side?" 
While the Stuart case is, of course, an extreme example of betrayal, many women know only too well that when it comes to love, what you see is not necessarily what you get.  Introductions to prospective suitors used to come primarily through close friends or family member, but even that is no guarantee. Remember Amber Frey, Scott Peterson’s unsuspecting girl friend, at the time that he murdered his pregnant wife Lacey?  Amber was introduced to Scott by a friend.
And these days we are more likely to meet a man through online dating, at the gym, at a business meeting or a cocktail party. That often means we know virtually nothing about the man and his background beyond what he chooses to tell us.  Under these circumstances, how can we be truly certain about a man’s character and circumstances?  Our instincts alone may not be enough to guide us.

Fortunately, most of us will, thankfully, never encounter a Charles Stuart or a Scott Peterson, but there is still too much at stake to risk involvement with a con man of any kind.  We all know of women who have discovered only too late that their new romantic interest was already married, needed his credit cards paid off, or had some other ulterior motive for the involvement.  It is indeed a sobering experience to discover, after he has won your heart, that your gallant prince was, in the end, just another toad.

In order to protect ourselves from a broken heart, a depleted bank account or worse, women are resorting to extreme measures.  It was recently reported in the press that successful career women are more often turning to private detectives to scrutinize everything from their new love’s previous relationships to his current credit rating.  Needless to say, hiring a detective can backfire.  If the sleuth is discovered, the relationship is over before it begins.  How, then, can a woman protect herself from the pitfalls of love without risking the loss of a good man?  An astrologer can play the crucial role of detective in the relationship game, and can do so without putting the whole relationship in jeopardy.

But can astrology really help?  Can the most ancient of sciences give meaningful insights into a new romance?  Can it shed light into the dark recesses of a lover’s psyche?  Is astrology a valid tool for the modern woman to use in the game of love?  Yes, the age-old art of synastry (astrological relationship analysis) is alive and well and more helpful than ever.  But there is a catch.  If you want real insight into your new man, the tried and true "What’s your sun sign?" routine simply won’t do.  While sun sign astrology is fun and can be helpful to a point, it is much more illuminating to study the entire chart, and absolutely necessary if you are sorting the frogs from the princes.

A Birth Chart
Diagram: birth chart with astrological symbols

The birth chart (or horoscope) shows detailed planetary placements at the specific moment of birth, as seen from the birth place.  To the trained eye, a complete horoscope reveals the many layers and complexities of an individual’s character.  It offers insights into both the obvious and not so obvious personality traits so that we understand what we might expect as well as what to beware of.  And additional valuable insights can be derived from a comparison of two birth charts,.  In order to mathematically calculate a horoscope, an astrologer needs not only the birth date and place, but also the accurate birth time.  While many men have this information readily available and are eager to share it, others do not or will not.  In that case, an astrologer can work with less than the ideal components—your complete horoscope and just his birth date, but the information gleaned in this way will be much less conclusive.

Carl Jung, the well-known psychologist, was also an excellent astrologer and used astrology in his practice to assess his patients.  More than 50 years ago, Jung collected astrological data from hundreds of married couples and observed the highly significant correlation of particular planetary pairs between the charts of partners.  These were the traditional pairings of Moon to Sun and Sun to Moon that date all the way back to the ancient Greek scientist and astrologer Ptolemy.

Jung’s studies demonstrated the beneficial use of astrology for defining an appropriate mate at a time when the "Ozzie and Harriet" way of life was the ideal.  But limiting ourselves to these very traditional astrological marriage indicators simply does not take into account the diversity of life-styles found today.  With relationship stereotypes often not applicable, astrology’s purpose is no longer to predict the outcome, but to describe the possibilities that a relationship may hold.

And ours is a world of endless possibilities—of househusbands, bi-coastal Photo: Candy Heartsrelationships, gay and lesbian households with children, single women deciding to start a family without a dad present, and two-income households where the wife may very well make more than her husband.  With our gender and relationship stereotypes constantly challenged, life is no longer so predictable, and neither is astrological relationship compatibility.  Because of the complexity and diversity of modern personal relationships and family structure, we no longer depend on the planets to understand if two people are "meant to be together."  Instead, astrology is a tool to better understand the inherent strong and weak points in a relationship so that the couple who have chosen to be together can work consciously toward developing what they consider to be a successful relationship.

But can astrology actually identify a Scott Peterson from his birth chart?  That is entirely another story.  It is unlikely that astrology alone could identify a sociopath.  While the astrological indicators for a potentially violent personality do exist, there is no way to certain how a person will express that potential.  Those indicators of an aggressive nature can be, and are, in most instances, acted out in more socially acceptable ways.  Most men with a combative streak will take it out in the boardroom or on the handball court, not on the woman they love.  However, astrology can be a very helpful tool in spotting potential trouble areas early on—and forewarned is forearmed!  If an astrologer points out the possible problem in your new man’s chart, you may be much more likely to recognize early warning signs, and to deal with them promptly.  Astrology can also show the best approach to take with this particular man when bringing up difficult issues.

For instance, an astrologer can identify from a birth chart the man1 who is likely to have problems with intimacy and commitment, the one who may run hot then cold without warning, the man whose sweet persona may hide a brooding interior, or the one who is likely to be secretive and reveal only what is convenient in order to achieve his desired ends.  The chart will also show if a straightforward, head-on approach is best with him, or if more subtle methods are preferable.

But remember, as well as indicating potential problem areas, the birth chart also reveals the positive qualities of a man, such as strength of character, a warm heart or a powerfully intuitive nature.  It may reveal that beneath his macho exterior lies a truly sensitive soul that you can help nurture.

Astrology can also indicate the qualities most important for you to seek in a man.  For example, if your chart shows that you thrive in high profile social situations, you would want a man who not only keeps up with you, but who you can proudly take anywhere—a shrinking violet just wouldn't do.  Your true prince would never feel threatened by a dynamic, out-going woman.  On the contrary, he would relish your glory as much as his own.  His chart will show if he has what it takes to fulfill your needs.

Synastry Chart or Chart Comparison
Diagram: synastry or relationship chart--the wheel of one birth chart encircling another birth chart

As mentioned earlier, comparing the planetary contacts between your two charts can also be extremely revealing.  This is done by placing the wheels of his birth chart around yours, and vice versa (see Synastry Chart diagram). First, for the potential of a long-lasting relationship to exist, the parts of the charts related to relationship and home and family of the two charts must be activated.  Next, look for significant contacts to the planet Mercury, named for the mythological Messenger of the Gods, which presides over communications.  Let's face it, if two people can understand each other's viewpoint, and are willing to discuss problems as well as joys, that is more than half the battle.  Mythologically, Venus is the Goddess of Love. The planet Venus represents the ideal woman in the chart of a man, and the capacity for enjoyment in anyone's chart. Can you easily appreciate each other's friends and share leisure time activities? Sexual compatibility is revealed through Mars contacts.  While verbal communication with your love is important, a satisfying sexual experience is often the glue in a marriage.  Jupiter contacts reveal how you are mutually beneficial to each other. And Saturn contacts are significant since they represent the potential for longevity in the relationship—and these days, with 50% of marriages ending in divorce, this factor should not be overlooked.  Relationships without appropriate Saturn contacts probably will not stand the test of time. Contacts from the other planets (Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto) are also significant, as well as contacts between other powerful points in each birth chart. Each contact between charts indicates another layer of subtlety and connection between potential partners.

So let’s say you find a man with whom you share terrific planetary contacts.  He is a 38 year old bachelor and his chart indicates potential intimacy and commitment problems.  His life seems to bear this out.  Will you be the one to turn the tides?  Astrology can help you answer that question, too.  It is excellent for pinpointing time periods when a significant relationship is likely to change the life of even the most confirmed bachelor—and your own love life as well.

For a serious, committed relationship to begin, the appropriate astrological timing factors must be in place for both partners.  So if both charts show it is prime time for Cupid to strike, this frog is more likely to transform into your prince.  Just kiss on the dotted line.  When times get stormy for you as a couple (which inevitably happens, even in the best relationships) astrology can indicate when the sea of love will once again become calm, and the best way to resolve differences.

So if you are looking for answers about the man in your life, skip the gumshoe.  Discover whether he is your prince in disguise or just another frog by consulting your astrologer and letting the planets be your guide.

 

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